Okay, so let’s get realistic! Sometimes it gets too hard isn’t it? It could be our thoughts haunting us, past traumas, the way we perceive things or just living in a controlling atmosphere (workplace) etc,.
How to make peace with ourselves?
With all the chaos happening around us, sometimes we do end up questioning our sanity, don’t we? No matter how much we try to keep our thoughts in check, things (or thoughts rather) tend to get out of our control sometimes. The more we think about certain things, more restless we become. And this in turn results in complete internal chaos. Hence, I cannot stress enough on the fact how important practicing mindfulness is! (as mentioned in my previous posts)
Now, we know being mindful helps us remain calm regardless of external circumstances. But the thing is, it doesn’t happen most of the times because of our habitual thinking patterns. When we are on the verge of emotional breakdown, it always better to give ourselves time and let ourselves heal naturally instead of trying to fix our thinking right away or pressurize ourselves to be mindful all the time.
While it’s very important to practice mindfulness, it’s also important that we know it’s coming naturally from effortless ease and not by constant pressure which might result in mental coercion. It’s a gradual process and requires persistent efforts to train our mind and thoughts and attain the state of inner stillness. So, every time we give into our old habits, it’s important to remind ourselves that we are getting there and allow things to flow through us. By doing so , though we may not feel completely relaxed, we might start seeing things clearly for what they are and gain an in-depth understanding of ourselves and people around us.
So let’s just give ourselves time and space to heal, grow and evolve naturally and try to find peace in everything that we go through. As contradictory as it sounds, let’s try to find peace even if we feel restless, after all life is all about beautiful contradictions, isn’t it?❤️
May we all find peace in everything we are going through right now.
Everything that’s happening around us is the reflection of what’s happening within us. Our thought processes, our vibratory levels and the energies that we give out, collectively creates our outer reality.
What makes us behave the way we do?
When we lack Self-awareness, we constantly seek answers, pleasures, gratification and energy supply from external resources. This happens when we lack the courage to look within ourselves and fail to understand what’s happening within us – this could be because of our ego, deeply embedded insecurities or just the fact that seeking energy supply from others constantly satisfies our ego and we find this so comforting that we don’t actually take the responsibility to introspect/scrutinize ourselves.
Constant need to satisfy our ego, instant gratification, superiority complex, need to control others by being highly manipulative constitutes to narcissistic qualities and emotional immaturity.
Being aware of our own thoughts, emotions and feelings and realising the fact that we are none of the above but just beings of love makes us more empathetic and emotionally stable.
The key difference between these two sect of people: Energy drainers and Empaths is that the former are incapable of looking within themselves and overcome their insecurities, fears and ego. The latter has the courage to look within and emerge as better version of themselves.
Our behaviour, actions and words should never cause discomfort to anyone and instead should make them feel good about themselves. When we are internally focused and start working on ourselves, we not only better ourselves but also help people around us. The way we carry ourselves is very important because it deeply affects the people closely associated with us. So it becomes our responsibility to conduct ourselves in such a way that, it brings out the best in everyone!
Maturity is when we hold ourselves accountable for our actions and start working ourselves consciously! Real inner transformation happens only when we actually re-wire our thought process. Merely saying that I’m going to change will take us nowhere. Repetitive patterns say a lot about a person’s intentions and personality. When we give up our ulterior motives and purify our thoughts and actions we create a healthier life and in turn uplift the lives of all the people around us!
So, let’s stop operating from our identity self (ego) and start moving towards our Higher self and make lives easier and peaceful for ourselves and all the people around us.
The reason why the statement “people around us” has been emphasized throughout this article is because it is such a basic thing to understand and value others feelings and emotions and yet we tend to forget/ignore it.
The very purpose of our lives is to uplift ourselves and others. Let our inner space be filled with pure unconditional love and positivity. Let’s all create positive and peaceful lives for ourselves and for OTHERS.
More often than not, we find ourselves agreeing to certain things or people, despite of wanting to say NO. We actually betray ourselves for doing things that we don’t really want to. This happens when we don’t create healthy boundaries for ourselves and lack self-love. There’s a fine line between being selfless and letting people walk all over us. It’s equally important to be there for ourselves and conserve our precious mental energy while being there for others.
Constantly being there for others without creating a healthy boundary, can drain us out mentally and emotionally. Expenditure of too much mental energy results in mental coercion and physical exhaustion.
How to create healthy boundaries ?
By being transparent and speaking up for ourselves: This is very much required when people take us for granted and assume that we would do every little thing in their favor. Initially, though we find it difficult to say NO(fearing others’ reaction/finding it hard to deny people’s requests/demands) we must cultivate the habit of expressing ourselves clearly by taking into account our mental health and emotional well-being. We need to always remember that we cannot give out from an empty cup. Likewise, if we aren’t in a right frame of mind, it’s always better to deny others’ wants/demands. Maintaining rigidity and transparency when it comes to our needs, will help us protect our precious mental energy.
By distancing ourselves from people who ask for too much: Most of the times, we come across people who ask/expect way too much from us (sometimes, it could be our family members). Living up to everybody’s expectation is highly impossible. Completely dissociating ourselves from a difficult person (especially if it’s a family member) could be difficult. Hence, it is very important to maintain a healthy distance and start loving them from afar.
By stop being too available: When we are too available to everyone all the time, we get caught up in others mess and end up losing peace of mind. In order to avoid this, it’s always better not to have any sort of emotional involvement with others .
Self-awareness is a process of getting to know ourselves better. The more we delve deeper into ourselves, the more aware we become of our conditioned mindset, thought patterns, insecurities, fear etc. Daily self-introspection helps us re-condition our mindset and emerge as better version of ourselves. Self-awareness creates better understanding of how our conscious mind works. Getting to know ourselves better or creating self-awareness simply means shedding few layers of toxic traits, habits and thought patterns, re-conditioning our thought process and creating a healthy mindset. When we become more aware of ourselves, we develop a healthy and positive mindset and this will definitely benefit all the people who are closely associated with us. Being Self aware actually means getting in touch with our inner core-the soul and realizing that its true nature is pure bliss. It is beyond myriad of thoughts, feelings and emotions, it’s just complete pure “Bliss.”
Why is Self-awareness required?
We often project our insecurities/deeply embedded trauma (because of past bitter experiences) onto others , just to unleash our frustration and release our negative emotions. By doing so, we forget that we are inflicting pain on others. Becoming aware of our very own toxic traits, will help us create a positive and healthy atmosphere. In order to become aware, we need to self-introspect on a daily basis. This habit help us keep our thoughts in check.
3 ways to create a healthy mindset by becoming more aware of ourselves:
Becoming aware of our chronic thought patterns and understanding our trigger points – This can be achieved through keen observation and mindfulness(as mentioned in the earlier post). By quietly watching our thoughts without getting attached to them, we attain a state of stillness and obtain mental clarity.
Understanding our emotions – After mindful observation of thoughts and figuring out our trigger points, we understand why we feel certain way about certain things, people or situations. Getting attached to thoughts, gives rise to upsurge of emotions which in turn causes emotional turbulence. This results in aggressive behaviour and emotional outbursts. Emotionally volatile people are those who lack self-awareness i.e, they are not aware of their own mind. That is why it is very important to have an in-depth understanding of our mind(thoughts and emotions). By not reacting/getting attached to certain thoughts,we curb the rise of emotional turbulence in the very beginning. Having emotional stability is the greatest gift we could give ourselves and everybody around us.
Maintaining emotional stability- Now this requires persistent practice and self-commitment. In order to have a healthy mindset and create a positive atmosphere, it is very important that we constantly watch over our thoughts(break old patterns) and keep our emotions in check.
The willingness to develop a special bond that doesn’t involve any sort of obligation or expectation, with our beloved ones is one of the finest quality that we could possess.
When we carefully analyze our relationships with others especially with our beloved ones, we realize that most of the times, we take things for granted and end up making decisions on their behalf or assume/expect them to do things in our favour. This happens when we assume that we have the authority or power over them. What we forget here is, the need to give them their space and freedom to make their own choices and decisions.
What we need to understand here is the fact, that every person is an individual and has his/her own characteristic traits and thought process. The tendency of wanting to gain power or control over our loved ones, should be curbed the moment it springs in our head. Unless they are being harmful to society or have chosen the wrong path, we have no right or authority to question their choices and decisions that they make for themselves.
How we make others feel emotionally and mentally matters a lot in a relationship. The person shouldn’t feel the need to make his decision based on our reaction. We shouldn’t make others feel obligated or entitled to behave or do things in a way we want them to! The willingness to accept each and every individual the way they are and respect their life choices and decisions will help us maintain a healthy and harmonious relationship with everybody.
We must be willing to share a bond in the first place. Most of the times we hold back ourselves from bonding with others just because of preconceived notions, opinions or assumptions that we have about them. The ability to think beyond ourselves and accept people just the way they are, requires reconditioning/refinement of our thought process. When we realize this truth and actually come to terms with the fact that we need to have a broader perspective and a healthy approach to all the things, situations and people around us, our life becomes happier and peaceful. And all of this begins from our willingness to make things better for ourselves and for everybody around us.
1. The need to keep our thoughts in check- Become an observer. Keen observation of thoughts helps us nurture only positive thoughts. Few things that we consider as problems are actually just mere thoughts and nothing more! Being watchful of the thoughts that are being generated in our head is the key to having a healthy and positive mindset.
2. Coming up with logical solutions to all the problems instead of emotionally reacting to them- Every problem that we face has a solution. The only way to come up with a solution is not by having an emotional reaction but by solving it logically.
3. Organise thoughts according to goals or events : Pondering over the thoughts and ideas, keeping in mind the consequences leads to generation of new thoughts and ideas which in turn helps us gain clarity and thus, helps us make wise decision. When we nurture positive thoughts and align them with selfless actions, we are ought to achieve fruition.
When you are an empath, you know how it feels to live inside your head all the time. Empaths are highly sensitive people who tend to pick on the vibrations very quickly. They can easily sense the vibes around them and also, to some extent can understand what’s going on in someone else’s head. Perpetual bombardment of thoughts keeps them thinking all the time. This often make them look like they are always lost in their thoughts. Sometimes, it so happens that, because of all the thoughts that’s going on in their head, when they are asked or questioned about something, though they understand what’s being asked, they end up saying irrelevant things. This is purely because of the persistent thinking, that prevents them from being present in the moment.
Being empathetic can be really tiring because of the incessant expenditure of mental and emotional energies. Empaths always try their best to be there for everyone as they can easily understand what others are going through. This often leaves them drained, mentally and emotionally. Empaths are people who always think from others’ perspective and go out of their way to help people in need. I personally believe empaths are psychologically, emotionally and spiritually evolved souls. For them, it’s all about being considerate, sensitive, kind and compassionate.
Having said that, it’s also very important that they know how to protect their energies. Empowered empaths know how to protect their energies and deal with their difficult emotions. They are always internally focused and they just become mere observers of the things that take place around them. Instead of absorbing others’ emotions and energies, they just observe everything and try their best to make others feel better.
Empathy is a god’s gift to mankind and contributes to the betterment of all humanity in more than many ways one could imagine. This 2020, let us all make a resolution to be a bit more considerate and empathetic towards each other and make this world a better place to live in.
We tend to think that God is a Supreme entity or a mysterious force resposnsible for the creation of this Universe.
I believe in that but God in my perspective is unconditional love, selflessness and pure consciousness. God is an epitome of highest degree of purity. We cannot see him but we can certainly feel his presence in everything and everyone around us.
The beautiful sunshine, blooming of flowers, butterflies, plants, trees, laughter, dewdrops. There’s God everywhere.. there’s divinity in each one of us. We are all one with God❤️
Appreciating people for their positive qualities costs us nothing. The genuine response to someone who exhibit pure and selfless actions, will definitely bring happiness and positivity into all our lives.
Acknowledging someone’s noble act and appreciating them for that, creates a ripple effect. When we find ourselves in same kind of situation someday, it reminds us of the person who acted virtuously and in turn motivates us to do the same. By doing so, we create a healthy and positive atmosphere for ourselves and for all those around us. This collectively raises our vibration and help us lead peaceful and harmonious life with everyone.
The quality that I’m talking about here is inter-personal and requires empathy and sensitivity. When we are sensitive enough to acknowledge and appreciate someone for their good deeds, we lay a foundation for a healthy society. Showing genuine care and concern to others, also contributes to healthy atmosphere. At the same time, noticing and admiring someone’s virtuousness (even if the ego says otherwise) makes life all the more merrier and peaceful. This will also help us maintain healthy environment.
More often than not, though we notice someone’s selfless act, we may not appreciate them because of our ego. Now, this is what I call ” Mental block”. When we refrain ourselves from complimenting others, we unconsciously create a barrier in our relationship with them.
Recognition and admiration of people’s altruistic acts, will not only encourage them to perform more such acts, but also help us become the best version of ourselves. By doing so, we send across positivity, love and peace to whole of mankind and make this world a better place to live in.
Knowledge is merely an acquisition of facts, figures and hypothesis whereas Wisdom is something that you already know, Wisdom comes from contemplation of your own thoughts.
Wisdom comes to you naturally when you try to get in touch with your inner/higher self.
When you understand your true nature, you become wise.
Ultimately, wisdom is righteousness, pure consciousness, nothing but our gut instict.
Every human being can become wise only if he/she tries to shed the layers of negativity that have shrouded their soul.
The Universe guides us through, if we cleanse our atman and give up ego and selfishness and refine our thought process.
Wisdom is nothing but refined thought process.
Modern day education system teaches children about factual concepts and logical perspectives but fails to make children understand, what a human being should actually possess in order to lead a happy, positive and a peaceful life.
Ofcourse, education is very much required to lead a successful life.
But he who knows how to handle all the situations and circumstances with even mindedness, calm and composed attitude succeeds in all aspects of life i.e mentally, emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, personally,professionally and financially.
A person who manages to achieve all these things in life is considered to be wise and poised.